ready, set, go...

Flügel ausbreiten und los geht's

Am 2ten Januar 2014 machte ich mich nach wenig Schlaf und viel Koffer packen endlich mal wieder auf den Weg in ein neues Leben, ein neues Land. Die Reise fing um 5 Uhr morgens an und so schlaftrunken wie ich war, konnte ich mir keine weiteren Sorgen machen, weder was die Reise noch den Inhalt meines Koffers betrifft. Ihr könnt es euch denken, auch diesmal hatte ich etwas Problem mit dem organisatorischen Teil. Kaum aus Australien zurück, fiel es mir sehr schwer mich auf dieses neue Abenteuer vorzubereiten. Ich musste erstmal wieder zuhause ankommen und die Zeit (vor allem das bekocht werden) genießen. Leider hab ich dann so viel Zeit mit Freunden und der Familie verbracht dass es mir immer schwerer fiel mich an die Vorbereitungen zu machen. Ich konnte, noch wollte ich, mir vorstellen wieder allein durch Raum und Zeit zu reisen. Als es endlich losging hab ich mich natürlich auch gefreut aber die Stunden davor waren stressig und vor allem tränenreich. Wenn man für längere Zeit wegfährt, ist es natürlich normal bei der Verabschiedung emotional zu sein. Komischerweise war ich es vor meinem zweiten Semester abroad allerdings mehr als vor Australien, dem Land auf der komplett anderen Seite der Weltkugel. Warum? Erstens weil ich nun wusste was mich erwarten würde und dass es manchmal sehr schwer ist auf sich alleine gestellt zu sein. Ich kann eigentlich sehr gut mit Heimweh umgehen, hab es selten bis gar nicht. In Australien fiel es mir am Ende doch schon schwer nicht zu sehr an meine Rückreise zu denken und mich auf meine Geliebten zu freuen. Und ich hatte mir nicht zu viel erhofft, es war unglaublich schön Weihnachten mit der Familie zu verbringen und mit Freunden in das neue Jahr zu feiern und bin sehr froh dass ich mir diese Auszeit vom Reisen gegönnt hab. Jedoch fiel es mir deswegen umso schwerer wieder goodbye zu sagen. Zweitens, hatte ich in Australien am Anfang meine Eltern und Schwester mit dabei, auch wenn's nur zum rumreisen war, und sie, später als es für mich ernst wurde, weiterzogen, nahm es mir doch die Angst  vorm Einreisen in ein neues Land. Neue Situationen können unglaublich furchteinflößend sein, vor allem wenn man manchmal Problem hat den Mund zu öffnen und nachzufragen. Ich habe mich durch das ganze Studium und Reisen definitiv weiterentwickelt und kann von mir behaupten dass ich mir nicht mehr alles gefallen lasse und auf jeden fall meinen Mund aufmache wenn mir etwas nicht passt. Die anfängliche Schüchternheit vor neuen Sachen, unbekannten Plätzen und strangers hat sich jedoch noch nicht in Luft aufgelöst. Ich arbeite daran, aber ein bisschen Angst und Respekt vor Neuem gehört dazu, dann ist man im Nachhinein umso stolzer wenn man Abenteuer bewältigt und sich Herausforderungen stellt.

Zurück zu meiner Abreise. Am 31 Dezember hieß es noch ein letztes Mal mit Freunden feiern und so kam es dass ich kurz nach 5 glücklich und erschöpft in mein Bett fiel. 

 hunnegdrëpp, gute Freunde und ganz viele Umarmungen zum Abschied...cheers to a great evening!

Am 1ten Januar ging's dann noch zur Familie um ein frohes Neues zu wünschen und die letzten Küsschen und Umarmungen für 5 Monate zu verteilen... cry me a river. Ich werde meine Familie auch dieses Mal vermissen und mich darauf freuen sie wiederzusehn, was verständlich und normal ist, aber in erster Linie will ich nun an die Zeiten denken die auf mich zukommen. Vierzehn wundervolle Tage in Luxembourg gehen zu Ende, mein last-minute gepackter Rucksack steht im Flur und meine Mutter und Oma sind bereit mich nach Frankfurt zum Flugahfen zu fahren. Ich schau mich noch einmal um, verabschiede mich von den Katzen und meinem Zuhause, denn der Tag ist gekommen, ich bin dann mal wieder weg.

let's unwrite these pages again

When one chapter ends, another one begins. 

After 4 amazing months in Australia, with ups and downs, my experience in Oz came to an end and even though I had a great time, I was counting the days to go home to my loved ones. As I said in the last post, there were quite some tensions between some of us internationals and the whole emotional rollercoaster got on my nerves. All I wanted to do was seeing familiar faces, throw myself in the arms of people I knew and trust, I wanted to be reassured before going off to another 5 months of strangeness again, I wanted to feel home. Of course I was also sad to leave this truly awesome place, say good bye to friends that I made and take a last glimpse of the sun for quite a while. No matter how many downs I had, there were without doubt more ups! I saw so many cool places, met people with interesting stories and learned quite a deal about myself and my abilities, and for that I am so thankful! I'd recommand everybody to go abroad for a while, you'll not only learn so much about a different culture, people or places, you'll also get to know yourselves in ways you could never imagine. Also travel on your own, road-tripping with friends is super fun but with strangers even more, believe me you won't be alone for a long time! All in all, I will never forget Australia and I'd probably bore my friends and family to death with stories of 'when I was in Australia'
The final week was filled with studying as exams were approaching, but after my last paper I had another 3 great days in Robina and two days in Brisbane before I left. There were a few things I needed to do before  getting into that airplane, so I went to the pool and beach one last time, I had a chai latte in the library, went to a way too crowded house party to leave 10 minutes after and go out with friends in surfers one last time, made a day trip to byron bay and had food at the market place. Conclusion: a happy and satisfied me ready to close that door and open the next one, who knows what adventures are hiding behind it.

After having spend a relaxing and fun day in Byron with Mark and Matthias, I had to pack my bags the next day which was the opposite of relaxing. Not only did I have too many clothes and hence, had to go through the painful experience of throwing stuff away, furthermore did I have two new flatmates making my day a living hell. Yup my roomies all moved out at that point so how come you were not alone at home? I had the lovely company of a spider as big as a hand chilling in the living room and a fast but noisy gecko making himself comfortable under my bed. The spider wasn't there for long, well I don't actually know, as it just suddenly vanished (and no I really do not want to know how close to me it was, neither do I want to think about whether it was hiding somewhere ready to attack...all I know is that it wasn't in my backpack when I got home so I will never see it again, thank you very much!). The gecko which I tried to get out, as I really do not like those kinds of animals in my personal space and certainly not in between my clothes in my suitcase, was too fast for me and ran under the bed, making it impossible for me to get my hands on him. Well I thought, it's just a gecko, they're somehow funny and do you no harm right? Yeah right (beware ironie) that little bastard woke me up in the middle of the night crawling on the wall behind my head making the most annoying noises you can imagine. It was squealing like an angry/sad pig, who knew that such noises can come out of such a tiny weird animal?? I certainly didn't and was glad to leave my room behind in the morning, I'll never share my room with a gecko again...lesson learned!

So I left in the morning and took the train to Brisbane, which of course got cancelled halfway through, so that I had to take another bus and tram to get to my hostel. Well annoying but I had the whole day so not that bad you think? True, if you don't have to carry a huge and heavy backpack on your shoulders, a laptop bag and purse in your hand and a fully packed suitcase in the other hand. I nearly broke my back, bursted into tears and screamed at bus drivers which is really not my style...you see I was desperate. How I was looking forward to making my way to the airport by train the next day at 6 in the morning! Anyways I ended up in the hostel, which wasn't very nice and the staff wasn't very helpful either. Just my luck: to get in you had to climb stairs before getting to a door which is quite difficult with all my bags, leaving my bags on the street right next to the station...not ideal, but I managed (on my own, as I said the staff didn't really care about me making funny noises and head as read as a tomato). I do not need to add that it was boiling hot outside and that I was sweating out all the calories I had to consume after this trip to be happy again. Having brought all my belongings to my bedroom, I could finally move again and forced myself to not fall down on my bed but instead enjoy my last day and see a bit of the city. So I went to Starbucks, got myself a strong yummy coffee, wandered around in the city and watched the christmas parade in the evening. It was kind of weird seeing Santa Claus and his little helpers dancing and waving to christmas songs while wearing shorts and shirts. 15th December at 7pm and the people are singing along to let it snow while eating ice cream and getting a sunburn, yeah it is weird for those of us who are not used to this. Anyways it was a nice way to end the semester abroad, with laughter and singing in my ears I returned to my hostel room. After having bought some tim tams and arizona ice tea (I had to take advantage one last time) I went to bed early to be fit for the extremely exhausting journey ahead of me.

After more than a day in planes, airports and buses I finally arrived in Frankfurt where my dad picked me up. My last flight was really exhausting and scary, I thought it would be okay because we were flying during night time and I tried not to sleep before so that I'd get in that plane and just sleep through those 12 hours. Nope, we had rough weather conditions which meant that every time I started falling asleep, the plane jiggled me right back into reality. A few years back I had to take something to calm my nerves before entering a plane, by now after all those journeys, I got used to flying and even though still nervous I didn't mind and managed to lay back and not worry too much. This time however, the fear came back and there was a point (probably when they decided not to serve any food or drinks because it was too bumpy and dangerous) when I almost broke out in tears. In my head hell was breaking loose, I imagined all the bad things that could happen...uhm yeah I am a worst case scenario kind of person! Only solution was to watch happy disney movies and try to think of something else. Not to worry I made it out just fine, it calmed down for the last few hours and I landed safely! My dad came to pick me up from the airport, he even took a day off work so that I wouldn't have to go by train and bus with all my heavy luggage. And I'm very grateful that he did because I was on the edge of breakin down with so many kgs on my back and not enough sleep. Thanks dad <3 During the flight, when I wasn't imagining the worst, I was looking forward to coming home so much that it took all of my energy to stay seated instead of dancing around out of joy. So naturally when I saw my dad standing there waiting for me, I had to cry, I tried my best not to but I've got to admit I'm such a sensible person and I was so happy to see a familiar face... Travelling is awesome I love it, but coming home is pretty damn cool too! Once you've been away for a longer time, you really appreciate your family and friends but most of all the comfort of having them around, knowing that they are always there for you.

Maybe it's not the people we are longing to see again, maybe it's more of a selfish thing. It is the feeling we get when we are around them, the way they make us feel. It's the memories and the childhood. It's the safety and happiness. I'm glad I went home for Christmas because I realised that exact moment that I needed this and that no matter how much fun I could have had staying a while longer in Australia, spending the holidays at home was the best I could do before throwing myself into the unknown again.

foes or friends

Some people will sell you a dream and deliver a nightmare...

I have traveled quite a lot in the past years and lived in different places all over the world, even if only for a few months, I think the time has come for me to draw a conclusion on certain things.
If you study abroad or just live abroad for a certain time, you are thrown into a group of people, often international people, who will be your peers for those exciting months to come. Naturally, you want to get along with them as good as possible, as they are your only 'family' in the foreign country so far. Of course there will be more people to meet once you start university or simply get to know your surrounding better, however, the people you meet on your first days upon arriving are often the ones you will cling to during your stay. A possible reason for this is sharing the experience of discovering a new place together. All those people you meet and things you see, they will make an impression on you, lots will be exciting in a good way while other things might come off scary or simply strangely different. Going through it together will form a strong bond and give you lots to talk about for the days to follow. Another reason is the comfort of not having to throw yourself out at others again, figure out who you'll get along with and who's not worth your precious time. Also international students stick together because they find themselves in the same situation, others have no interest in discovering the places they know from childhood on again just because they have somebody to show around town. The locals have their group of friends, they might welcome you with open arms but it's hard to settle in because they've known each other for some time, have insiders, talk about people you cannot remember the names of and will always feel a little left out. The natives know just as much that you are going to leave soon anyways so why bother getting all emotional? Of course this is a very radical point of view and I want to point out that not everybody's like that and even though you might think just that way or you know how hard it is, making local friends is the best you can do. It is a completely different way of experiencing a country as you build up a base. You will make friends and if you keep in contact you will probably want to see them again and here we go: there's your reason to visit the country you went to again!

Unfortunately I figured all of this out after 3 months when my time in Australia was almost up. I was thrown into a group of study abroad students I did not choose to like but a group that I learned to like. What's the difference? Well instinct is mostly a very good thing, it tells you who to trust and who not to, in this case however, you sometimes ignore your instinct because you want to be part of the 'clique'. Furthermore I got there on my own unlike most people who came with classmates and as I said even though studying abroad is all about meeting new people, some find it difficult to open up their circle and let new ones in. This happened to me, even though I wasn't aware of that being a problem, a girl I met in the very beginning and liked very much, introduced me to her friends, the ones she came to Oz with, but when I met up with her friends one evening because I knew she didn't have time anyways, I got accused of stealing her friends. It seems that I have no right to see them without her because well... why else would I want to see them anyways, as I said they weren't supposed to like me on my own? Is that a valid poin? Absolutely not...and that's when I realised that some people are just not meant to be travellers because therefore you need to be very open-minded and sensible towards others. I won't go into details and I won't say any names because it is not the point of my blog entry to discuss matters that concern other people personally as well. There were more problems with that person and later on with her surrounding (words travel fast and foes stick together), missunderstandings and mean gossip that should have been discussed with the people in question. Unfortunately some people do not like confrontation and rather listen to what others have to say about it, that's why in the end a final discussion never happened. I tried it twice but there was no positive response. As we didn't talk in person I tried it over facebook, not necessarily to talk it out, as by now I realised that she had no interest in re-bonding or else it would have happened before. No, what I wanted to do is ask for the reasons why she stopped talking to me from one day to another and why she acted so cold, furthermore she is in possession of all the pictures we took at the whitsundayislands, which is the whitest beach ever, where we took amazing pictures of the beach, of ourselves and our trips. So I messaged her to get closure and the pics obviously. The response was very harsh and mean, but most of all very immature. As I said no details, but here comes the disappointing part: no pictures either. I still haven't got a clue what pissed her of so much or rather what gossip she heard, and she didn't give me a single valid reason to explain her behaviour. Anyways it was enough for her to pay me back by deleting all pictures of me and not sending me the ones from all of us or the places we visited. Basically she refuses to talk to me honestly and chooses the cowardly way out by hurting my feelings and keeping hold of the pictures and thus my memories. I do not regret anything and am not aware of what could have possibly happened, so this message really got to me and made me question friendships that are formed abroad. With tears in my eyes I swore to myself to not let people get too close to me this time until I can be almost sure that they won't stab me in the back. It might not be the wisest decision considering the amount of people I'll meet in a very short amount of time, I might end up with a very small circle of friends. On the other side, I'd rather have only 3 friends who like me for me and whith whom I will stay in contact after the semester than a big group of people where you forget your own opinion and wishes to fit in. The latter ones can replace you and vice versa, the ones who tell you when something's wrong instead of going behind your back, the people who make you laugh and love, are the ones worth keeping! I'm kind of glad I made this experience in Australia because now I know that not all friendships abroad are fun, they might seem easy and simple but afterwards back in your hometown, you will find out which friends stay and which will disappear forever. Due to what happend, I met more Australians in the last months, my flatmate Hannah noticed the changes and invited me to get to know her and her friends better. We found out that we get along really good, we laughed and talked and when I now think of her I have to smile because even though I miss living with her, I believe that I will see her again at some point in my life! Same for Janina, we got along from the beginning of the semester but in the end our bond became stronger and I'm very glad I met such a nice and caring person, I'm a 100% sure that I will see her again soon!

Now that I arrived in the States, I've got to say that the whole international thing I explained in the beginning is repeating itself, but as I said I learned to trust my instincts. I've met lots of fun people to hang out with but most importantly I found a friend I know I'll share the most amazing time with while being here.

Lots of love from abroad,
Cathy

Btw I did not give up on people nor do I want to present others in a bad way. I'm just sharing experiences and thoughts. Everybody has bad and good stories, the most important thing when you fall down is to get up and try again because that's life: it continues and you either risk falling down again whilst having the time of your life or you stay down and watch possible good times run you over! I chose to give it as many tries as it takes :)

whitsunday islands

                    beautiful white beaches, excellent diving opportunities and amazing food...

...However I will have to write about this trip later on because it will only make sense with pictures to look at and as I don't have all of those yet I'll add the post some other time

No worries it will follow soon (: